The end of the evolution is self-destruction.It is death itself..

2006-04-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

well just felt a bit regret posting that...
seems like im a cold blooded money lover...
maybe in my life i just cant get any better things than people around me...
i know im already counted as a lucky one comparing to those suffering...
but just blame on what that i have a life not to say the best but below average...
karma.? nah i dont believe in that
i believe in chances!!! kebarangkalian!!!
luck is wat i needed...

LUCKY COME BACK !!!!!
>.<

O.o crapping shit again on this midnight

now i wish i could just vanish in this world without being notice by anyone...
then nothing happens at all and i bet non existence is the best freedom i can get...
im begining to realise myself as an aquarius that need freedom all the time...
no wonder... im lazy.. coz all i wanted is free time... i hate to be controlled...
working somehow killing me but need that to survive...
study..? endless knowlegde...

-peaceful night-

2006-04-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

Lazyness...
tired of everything...
need a new life maybe... but life is just a routine going round n round
i wish i am sumthing else...
like maybe a bird that fly thru the skies...
my chatterbox is outdated... lazy to update it...
as i say the blog need a change but im still lazy... very troublesome...
assignment is forever endless...
soon maybe working? or going for further studies...
no idea... dont dare to think about it cause of my lazyness...
in fact money is everything in these days...
life is not really meaningful without money... that is just something ppl try to comfort themselves with... seriously
with money i have i can buy whatever i wanted...
i can do so much stuff...
and btw who is trying to make enemy with money?
hence im already get hopeless on life being a human cause money overruns everything except for health but what can u do with a healthy life but living poor?
money > health
end of today story

2006-01-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

well...
just struck in my mind suddenly a phrase that asked
do you believe that the time passed unconstantly in this world?

it is true that really maybe a split second each year the route of the earth is moving differently. but wat i meant is about the feeling of your own.
from a drama i learn that was said to be when u r being with the person u loved the time u spend will be just a flash, but when you r waiting for the one that u loved its like taking eternally.it is true for some reason i do not unlike dramas in some way it really giving courage to people. eventhough in reality im maybe a total failure.
another thing that i found out is that loving someone is not that easy it needs efford. from the last relationship i have given all i got but it seems that its not enough. comparing to last time i hae improved but it just lack of something and lately one of my fren that i treated her as my sister. since long time ago she spotted me as a lack of efford person in a way means LAZY. gahhh.. am i really so hate troublesome things.
just need to be more hardworking is the last word she said to me and its like a lightbulb suddenly turn on to me. and so on i have been thinking is there anymore things that i should change myself, am i really have those problems.
and anyway those previous blog that i have posted is really when im in a deep mess.
maybe its time to have a change for this blog. so that i can chill myself up when i visit here n relax unlike the last time tied by all the histories.
i will become a man without history then >.<
so long good night.

all right to the world

2006-01-17T05:34:00.001-08:00

girls, guys, i dont fucking care anymore.
now im running low of cash. that is more important.
just parents are annoying, with or without them is not much diff afterall.
therefore getting some freelance job may help a bit i guess.
yosha~ work!!!

everyone loves cash so go for the main point better than going the other way.

2005-11-20T07:43:00.000-08:00

After the rain my life have been a mess..
nothing goes right.. internship takes most of my time.. another 1 and a half months to go.. ganbateh!!! >.<

status :
income - RM 300 per month (death, planing to rob a bank soon)
time - 24 hours per day is just not enough for me and sleeping is a waste of time thats y i spent my time awake more especially in midnight when the whole world is sleeping =]
love - i love myself (what is love anyway)
health - good condition still at least i smoke less max 4 stick per day ahha
future planing - urm... what goes around comes around nothing yet so far mayb finding a nice part time job =]

The year's at the spring,
And day's at the morn;
Morning's at seven;
The hill-side's dew-pearled;
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in his Heaven -
All's right with the world!

2005-10-21T01:00:00.000-07:00

A Fairy tale
Fairy tales are figments of imagination bred to stimulate the human mind and thus giving hope that there might be chance for a better life.

Q1
Who likes to live in a fairy tale most?

Q2
Dream = Reality ?

Q3
Over wishes causes unsatisfying wants and needs? or becoming a slave of materialistic and feelings craving for more?

Answer for all:
Girls nowdays are very emo
They believe in a fairy tale life
Which further decrade theirs standards , for they want something that the guys cant give

and what is love to them?
Assuming that the word love is merely a word , or just limited to being a emotion?

The more demanding, the more unsatisfying
worst comes to worst no sacrificing no string attach
lets play on?

william shakesphear once said, 'if music is the food of love, play on!'
so what if love is just a game, play on?

human often likes to find excitement in life..
hey lets get together and broke up, married and divorce for the sake of finding another new excitement in life? doing an experiment?

Purpose
Purpose in Life is to not seek what you don't have but to find out what you already have.

damn those reasons of perception
Reasoning is based on the dogmatic view that everything has an excuse.
Excuse is a manipulated and decetive conception that is given as a Reason.

-never knows best-

2005-10-11T09:34:00.000-07:00

Opening Closed doors
Treading through a door that has been close for more then a decade. Uncovering the instrument of one's doom. being at the threshold of a New begining which will inevitably lead to hades. The only retribution lies in the submission of another. Unravelling a twisted maze like mind . What should have remained closed have been pryed open.

Opened barely towards thousands of spikey torns never to regret. Discovering the instrument of another's heart. Never knows those torns has poison that will paralyze the heart for a long time... aching slowly until it burns...

To overcome :
only one solution shutting the doors again... never to reveal again...
its just a normal reflection... its a norm...

2005-09-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

Speechless...

there's nothing more that i can think of worth living without love...
i guess human are just too fragile...
and cant stand the loneliness...

who am i..?
what am i in others eyes...?
is this the shape or object that i call it as myself..?
and why am i living..? alive or just a dream...?
when will be the end of the story...?
what is the reason to be alive...?
family? work? money? finding a partner?
what for..?
as u die.. there's nothing u can bring with u...
hence.. wat is the purpose of living here in earth...

bahh... im bullshitting again...
bye... mayb the sky will let me feel better by looking at it...

2005-09-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

2005-09-13T02:15:00.000-07:00

K歌之王 (陳奕迅)
我以為要是唱的用心良苦
你總會對我多點在乎
我以為雖然愛情已成往事
千言萬語說出來可以互相安撫

期得你感動真實的我們難相處
寫詞的讓我唱出你要的幸福
誰曾經感動分手的關頭才懂得
離開排行榜更銘心刻骨

* 我已經相信有些人我永遠不必等
所以我明白在燈火闌珊處為甚麼會哭
你不會相信嫁給我明天有多幸福
只想你明白我心甘情願愛愛愛愛到要吐

那是最醉生夢死才能熬成的苦
愛如潮水我忘了我是誰
至少還有你哭

我想唱一首歌給我們祝福
唱完了我會一個人住
我願意試著了解從此以後
擁擠的房間一個人的心有多孤獨

* Repeat

讓我斷了氣鐵了心愛的過火
一回頭就找到出路
讓我成為了無情的k歌之王
麥克風都讓我征服
想不到你若無其事的說
這樣濫情何苦

我想來一個吻別作為結束
想不到你只說我不需哭
不讓我領悟

King of Karaoke (Eason Chan)
I had thought if I gave a lot of thought into what I sang
You would eventually care for me more
I had thought that although love has already come to pass
Speaking hundreds of thousands of words could reassure it

I look forward to your touch; truly, it's hard for us to get along with each other
Writing lyrics lets me sing out the happiness you want
Those who have been touched by the critical juncture of parting will know
Leaving the billboard is forever engraved on one's heart and bones

I already believe there are some people never worth my waiting for
Therefore, I understand why people cry when the lights are dimmed
You don't believe how much happiness marrying me tomorrow will bring
I want you to understand I'm perfectly happy to love until I puke

So, only by living a most befuddled life can one endure suffering
Love is like a tide, I've forgotten who I am
At least you still cry

I want to sing a song to wish us happiness
After singing it, I will live alone
I'm willing to try understanding from now on
In a crowded room, one person's heart can be very lonely

* Repeat

Let me breathe my last breath, become unshakable in determination, love to the extreme
Once I came to my senses I found an outlet
Let me become a heartless King of Karaoke
Even the microphone lets me conquer
I didn't know you would say as if nothing happened,
"There is no earthly reason for loving indiscriminately like this."

I want a goodbye kiss as a conclusion
I didn't know you would only say I'm not allowed to cry
Not let me (after a period of confusion) comprehend

2005-09-12T23:15:00.000-07:00

It's becoming more evident
Much more obvious to me
I thought much more of you
Than you ever thought of me

Was this my biggest mistake
Letting myself think you cared
Was I just your marionette
With heartstrings open and bared

With me left here still thinking
What was false, what was true
So puzzling and so complex
I’m left to await another clue

On my heartstings you played
Each left with a loving memory
Yet I still have those questions
Do you ever think about me

I’m wondering why all the intrigue
Now why all of this mystery
Why am I left here hanging
Your the one that holds the key.

One small decision can make a big difference in life...
I doesn't know am i making the right decision or is it somehow my innerself that tries to protect myself... and i have made a decision that will distance us apart... but my heart is really really hurt... I truly loves U... be by your side as always... and i hope at this point you still have me in your heart...

There is tears in my broken heart...
What is this kind of feeling...
I never felt that before...
And i never thought that it is so weak inside me...
A knife that cuts through my heart bleeding...
Please just either kill me or just save me...
I'm suffering...

but i dunno... i guess i can sacrifice...

2005-09-11T05:17:00.000-07:00

LOST

so lost that i can't even think of anything
until i can't feel any pain...
till the point of numb...

what do you really want from me?
and i don't really understand much of you...

A Fool

You love me and it’s such a waste
It even makes you look like a fool
A fool that loves the likes of me
Someone that is really a fool

I would tell you to stop loving me
But I’m too selfish to let you go
I want you by my side to hold and embrace me
No fool wants to be alone
The empty house says too much

Sometimes I’m just too far away
Far away from everyone and you
Wishing you could save me and take me to where I belong
Desperate to be happy
Is there really comfort in pain?
Maybe you could take it all away
But hope is only a dream
A dream you and I live in

I don’t want to believe the lies I told myself
And it hurts to see you believing in me
For I don’t know who I am anymore.

this is something that someone send me..
what does this mean actually..
whats the meaning behind it.. im lost..

2005-09-08T05:07:00.000-07:00

days just passes too fast..
things will just happen in just a split second..
the world is just changing.. continuous..
just like what my blog title tells.. no one can race agaisnt time..

there is one phrase i always believe that is the end of the evolution is self-destruction. it is death itself.. no matter how things change it will come till an end where people is like digging thier own grave.. but there will be people saying probably it will be another evolution continues.. but i just hope that no matter what happens something must be maintain where it suppost to be..

an good example.. woman.. haha not to talk much..
understood la huh?

u can say that im conservative or what but if things goes on there will be no more true feelings to each other.. and the result will be bad i guess..

but what can i say more because im just someone that i doesn really understand of myself.. its truly like split personality just feel that there is a stranger inside me..

i just cant believe that i will fall for something that i know it will get me hurt..
its just like what i have said digging my own grave.. getting deeper and deeper until one day i just cant recognize myself anymore..

people often said to have faith in anything.. faith is seeing the invinsible, believing the incredible and receiving the impossible.. gahh.. its just very hard for me.. suffering.. its just so troublesome..

i just cant understand why is so hard to find someone that you can be trustful, sharing anything in the world together, and just pure love.. <<< this is just so not me as a guy.. most probably its the effect of world changing.. the evolution.. guys and girls is switching thier position..

Tommy Chan Kok Yew ure such a dumbass that bought a gem and step into the mines.. haha dota.. almost forget what my life were suppost to be "i only fight for myself, and only love myself, that's the only love i need".. i guess human just can't surpass loneliness too.. sometimes..
but im truly falled and betrayet myself..

dooo...dooo...

2005-08-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

err... confusing about some stuff whether to accept or not... hrmmm
miserable....

falling into the groove of L'arc~en~ciel
new album came up yay AWAKE

urmm... nothing much...

wat a boring life

2005-08-04T11:56:00.000-07:00

im soo soo sooooo lifeless
yam cha, dota, Gunz, yam cha, sleep, class, assignment....
its going on and on and on.... nvr ending......

what the hell... im planning to go to Mars...
Earth its just so damm boring....

bah....

Went Ipoh !!!

2005-07-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a teriffic day...
me with my group of frens went down ipoh just for some fun =]
included me, chan heng , lili, gabe, wei li, teng, james,bing hong, chun kit, JJ Ococha, Sad, aaron and alaric.
We went there to eat the most popular food in town "Nga Choi Kai" after that we went for clubbing and we found the most "happening" club named Y2K.
although its not that fun its not totally packed with ppl and also not too wide to let us dance around but one thing Ipoh is just SERIOUSLY have lots of chiqs =] and it doesnt dissapointed me about the rumors said that leng lui mostly from ipoh lol..
Met wei han and his fren there and we went in and just chill =]

after the whole thing we went for a nearby CC inferno to play some silly game DBZ 'dragonball Z' a map for warcraft3 -.-" but it was quite fun..
In the middle of the game wei han suddenly called said that he had a fights with the ppl there.. too late when we reach there for back ups, he head already pao kong =p
later then nth we can do just go back to the CC and play games again..

till the next morning we packed up and leave ipoh and i have bought some 'kai si guo' from Tapah perhentian =]

thats all for now..

oops late news...

2005-07-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

hrmm just watched NTV7 news and just shock that my cousin sister has joined the miss malaysia chinatown 2005 beauty contest..O.o

lol wish her all the best la anyway she's very pretty to me la since when the day that i know whats a chiqs is... wahahha

i will post more of the updates if any =]

a fine day at 1U with wild creatures =]

2005-07-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

Went to 1U to visits frens working for Nokia N90 event again..
Iguana its just so cool n easy to rare lol planning to buy one too =p
Took some pictures =]

They called it Red dragon.. quite cool eh =]

Python !!! most ppl affraid of it.. actually they are very tamed

Cute Little baby iguanas inside the tank =] love it

older iguana!!! =] quite huge n cool looking face lol

climb up my hand.. planning to get one too =x

All the best and take care Brother Lee =]

2005-07-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

"Lee Ken..
all the best to you no matter what you do..
take care of urself..
and see u back in half year time later.."

the last word till he went in to the departure.. nothing much to say but just hope he will be fine there.. will b missing u always. =]

the day that i visited frens in maxis 3G launch event in KLCC

2005-07-02T12:17:00.000-07:00

went there doing nth... walk around and chat with my frens over there.. =]
and also took some picture there.. just for fun O.o

from left Chan Heng, June, Carin and Me =]

Haha posers trying to act hip hop =p

Not so nice resolution take for fun =x

Had a tired day...

Another down and lonely day....

2005-06-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

後視鏡裏的世界越來越遠的道別
hou shi jing li de shi jie yue lai yue yuan de dao bie
The world from the rear view mirror becomes further and further away as if saying goodbye

你轉身向背側臉還是很美
ni zhuan shen xiang bei che lian hai shi hen mei
You turn around but your side profile is still very beautiful

我用眼光去追竟聽見你的淚
wo yong yan guang qu zui jing ting jian ni de lei
I use my eyes to pursue you, yet I hear your tears

在車窗外面排徊是我錯失的機會
zai che chuang wai mian pai hui shi wo cuo shi de ji hui
Outside the car window is my missed opportunity

你站的方位跟我中間隔著淚
ni zhan de fang wei gen wo zhong jian ge zhe lei
Your position and mine is separated by tears

街景一直在後退你的崩潰在窗外零碎
jie jing yi zhi zai hou tui ni de beng kui zai chuang wai ling sui
The street views are continuously receding, you start to fragment outside the window

*Chorus

我一路向北離開有你的季節
wo yi lu xiang bei li kai you ni de ji jie
I head towards the north to leave the season which describes you

你說你好累已無法再愛上誰
ni shuo ni hao lei yi wu fa zai ai shang shui
You said you were already tired and cannot fall in love with anybody again

風在山路吹過往的畫面全都是我不對
feng zai shan lu chui guo wang de hua mian quan dou shi wo bu dui
The wind is blowing on the mountain road, all of our previous memories were my wrongdoings

細數慚愧我傷你幾回
xi su can kui wo shang ni ji hui
Counting my shamefulness, I have hurt you too many instances

我一路向北離開有你的季節
wo yi lu xiang bei li kai you ni de ji jie
I head towards the north to leave the season which describes you

方向盤周圍回轉著我的後悔
fang xiang pan zhou wei hui zhuan zhe wo de hou hui
Around the steering wheel rotates my feelings of regret

我加速超越卻甩不掉緊緊跟隨的傷悲
wo jia sui chao yue que shuai bu diao jing jing gen shui de shang bei
I accelerate to escape the lingering sadness

細數慚愧我傷你幾回
xi shu can kui wo shang ni ji hui
Counting my shamefulness, I have hurt you too many instances

停止狼狽就讓錯純粹
ting zhi lang bei jiu rang cuo chun cui
Stop the anguish by letting my wrongdoings

these days.. i've been thinking about my life.. isn't it just sounds just like the lyric above.. it express all my feelings.. miserable... lonely.. been living in the dark...
misses many things in my life... regreting...

Sadness_sorrow.....

2005-06-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

My blog dunno what happen automatically deleted so all my past has gone now....
i had to re create another one... but i dun think i will update it much thou.. hrmm...
thats all for now im gonna design it again T.T